I just wanted to write real quick to say I had a nice break. I got enough work done that I could ease into this week and just enjoy everything. I’m wrestling with some stuff, but none of it is anything of particular worth to write in my livejournal. It’s funny that you think you’ve got a lot of your life figured out, you know where you’re coming from, you know what’s going on, and then life throws you something unexpected… even if it’s in an expected vessel.
A friend of mine wrote this is his journal, and I thought it was interested, and kind of appropriate to how I’ve felt lately.
so, i’m really all about instant gratification from God. I think it would be pretty cool if He just kinda told me stuff that i needed to know, like, what job/major i should go with? ya know, get rid of the whole faith thing and just let me in on what is going on? is it too much to ask for an angel or two with some arrowy signs pointing at a girl i might marry someday? to let me know who “the one” is? huh, everyone agree? oh well, i guess we’ll just keep on keeping on. praying, waiting, praying, seeking, praying, a bit of Bible reading, and waiting. the neverending process and i guess it is for the best. for it is how we all grow the best. trial and error, error and trials. its been really hitting me lately, how much i rely on myself and what i think. how much do i really know, to assume that i know anything at all. ahhhhh! i’m so presemtuous to think that i even deserve another minute of breath.
But for the grace of God would i cease to breath
falling on my face i am so deceived
another day of breath and I forget
how close to death i am, my date is set
where can i find the strength to seek
another hour, day, month, or week
God has been good all along
i misunderstood, hence this song
peace and everything
I really agree with the how we grow the best, and I hadn’t really thought about it until Aaron brought it up. Through all of these things I don’t understand, it’s how I’m growing, how I’m working on stuff, how I’m turning into the ever elusive “person I’ve always wanted to be”. I know he’s there, but it’s in the waiting, watching, listening and reading that someday he’ll come out. I guess the thing too is that the second I become the person I want to be, God will raise the bar and I’m goign to have to climb a little further. But in that there’s a comfort, because I know God’s willing to be there and He’s going to guide me… all I’ve got to do is follow with all my heart. But, boy, what I wouldn’t give for some instant gratification every once in awhile. =)
See you all later,