Sitting thinking…

Let me apologize for the week of not entering anything.

I’m on second shift today again, but didn’t double up… a good thing, I think I’ll make it through this time.

Anyway, as I was sitting here, I was looking at some other LJ entries, and I realized a couple people on there were friends of mine that have kinda gone through ups and downs in my life. I guess I’ve always looked at myself as the beneficary of friendships as opposed to the one actually benefitting. Not to say I don’t appreciate all of my friendships, but when it comes right down to it, I see myself working hard at them rather than just… well, I guess let’s say letting them take their couse. That’s probably one part uber-hands-on personality with a dash of insecurity and one part experience in the past. Friendships and I for most of my life have been superficial, one-sided, and often times demeaning. That’s life, however.

Let me say this, even though it’s kind of off track: the worst thing you can tell anyone is that you don’t view them as a friend. Pardon my language, but that’s bullshit, and I’ll tell anyone the same thing. It’s one of the most uncouth, undermining things in the world… RUDE.

Anyway, I’m upset now, and I have to work.


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