I’m finally beginning to see why there are people who choose to have their journals be “friends only”
I recieved a journal comment today from an individual I respect quite a bit who lambasted me about the way I’ve handled some of the things I’ve talked about here in my LJ. And while sure, I’ve had my moments where I’ve been not so nice to people, I’d say I try hard to keep things even – I understand people don’t like, and while I do what I can, I’m learning I’m not always going to like people back.
But I will say this – from the beginning, I promised myself I would never, ever apologize for what I said on here. From one of the first entries I said that this would be a place where I could stand up and let the anonymous hear what I needed to say. If you wanted to see it, fine; if not, that’s okay too. These are things that if people asked me I’d tell them the same exact thing – I don’t pull any sort of punches just because I’m not face to face with them. Maybe it’s an aspiration to op-ed what I want because I feel like my opinion matters.
Also, there are plenty of things I don’t reveal on this journal because they are private and they are things that don’t need to be told to everyone who comes by here. And it’s my right to pick and choose. Moreover, whatever “venting” I may do is only after much venting beyond this journal – I would never, ever write in here out of anger, because I try hard enough not to operate out of anger.
That being said, to anyone I’ve ever offended or hurt I apologize for what it did. I don’t want to hurt people, believe me
And to any of Lindsay’s family and friends who may or may not have read this journal, I’m sorry for what I put her through, intentionally or not. I’m sorry I couldn’t be the type of guy she deserves, and if I get a chance to talk to any of you in person, those will be the first words out of my mouth, believe me. I want nothing more than for everyone to move on and be happy. That’s what makes any relationship that ends worth something – the fact you can move on, learn something, and be happy. We were just two different people who tried hard to have something work that didn’t. I still respect and care for all of you, and hopefully all of you can at least remember me from way back when apparently I wasn’t so bad.
And that’s about as private as you’re ever going to get from me.
I doubt I’ll be putting very many entries in for awhile. As is typically the case at the end of the summer I’m beat and broken, tired of a lot of things, and would rather spend the time soul searching than typing.