i’m not one to find it a necessity any longer to update my journal with “just because” stuff. if i feel like it’s of merit, then i may as well tell you. otherwise, what’s the point in wasting your click and my type time? but tonight i really felt like typing to the journal.

if you do not learn from the past, you are doomed to repeat it.

i feel like that has a lot more truth to it than its cliched state gives it credit for.

i am stuck between two parts of my life. i think it’s another part of the transition out of, well, basically childhood in general, and being on one’s own. because, really, it’s only been three and a half months since graduation from college, and only about a month since starting my new job, and so all of it is fairly new and unsettled.

and my biggest fear is tranposing problems and issues i had in the last 22 years in life and placing them in the time i’m here. part of the reinvention of transition is that you only have to bring with you what you want – someone who doesn’t know me from gcc doesn’t need to know all the silly things i did. while it comprises me, it doesn’t define me, and people typically seek definition over composition in the beginning, anyway.

honestly? only about three things i want to do

1. be a good campus minister and rd
2. be a good friend, son, brother, etc (and hopefully lover soon enough)
3. be a good man of God

i just want to know how one takes the failed attempts and not let them interfere with the goals.

i’m happy. i really am. but i overanalyze my own life much too often, and this is what comes of it. i’m ocd with my psyche.



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