what could perhaps be the biggest thing that has happened in my life

tonight i found out some things that have hurt me more than i can ever rememeber

i was betrayed, lied to, humiliated, and belittled to a point in which i have never felt (and it’s okay, you don’t have to ask, because chances are i probably won’t talk to you about it)

i’m nauseated. i’m shaking.

but i think i can say without a doubt that this is the biggest blessing in the twenty-two years i have lived. i am free. i am liberated from a situation that showed me nothing but depravity and spite

and i will say this: when the phoenix rises, it’s more beautiful and stronger than when it fell

i had wondered to myself way too often of late why i feel this impediment on my heart. as in i want to write something as beautiful as hans or lsmith. i want to feel whatever bard is within me and let it live. how about we draw back from bard and just merely say spirit

i want my spirit to be free

and yet, i imprisoned it in a deception partially my own, but wholly out of my control

i am a fire waiting to start and burn with passion
i am a patient awake from anesthesia
i am a ground parched no longer

and i will no longer be contented with a panacea gone sour years ago

i am adam william robert anderson
and after five years, i am me.

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