This picture reflects almost every singe day at Gannon. The tea cup, my radio that I use while I’m on duty, my computer, and the ever-growing stack of folders, color-coded to reflect each of the three major departments I’m responsible to (Orange – Campus Ministry; Yellow – Student Living; Blue – CCO).
One of the toughest things I’ve had to do so far in my life is create a job where none exsited. My job, as it’s done, has never been done prior to my arrival. The best anyone has to reference from is the two positions I brought together – an Assistant Resident Director, and a Resident Campus Minister. However, neither one of these really fit what I do. ARDs don’t have campus ministry responsiblities, and are almost always taking a full load of classes here at Gannon. RCMs don’t deal with discipline, rooomate conflicts, and basically anything Student Living related. This is also the first time that anyone has had a full time Co-Op relationship with Gannon in the CCO. Often times, this is what invigorates me about the process – that I’m redefining something, and I get to help define and create a vision, and obviously one has to expect bumps in the road.
However, on days like this when I’ve worked the better part of thirty days straight, compiling 50+ hours a week, when I’m spending the next weekend on amazing (albeit tiring) trips to Jubilee and the Bronx, and when my body is finally starting to disagree with afformentioned schedule, I begin to feel the more irksome parts of my job – that I have no professional clout whatsoever, that I feel marginalized because I don’t fit into any pre-defined box, that ultimately what I’m doing will have been a holding pattern for three years, I’ll get my master’s paid for, and I’m out.
On days like this, I don’t expect pity, but maybe just a nod of agreement, and maybe a pat on the back. I struggle most with the feeling few folks understand what I’m trying to do, or my concerns make much sense. However, I must keep remembering “Rome wasn’t built in a day”.
Tonight I have to take a long shower, make a turkey burger, do some paperwork for a program last Thursday, have my 1:1 with Colleen, and head to Atticus, the men’s group I help oversee. I’m hoping to create a page on this blog that maps everything I’ve done (and will do) at Gannon, for myself and for whomever takes my job after I’m done here.