i’m staying until sunday…

    So that means I can write on what I want periodically.

    Last night, I went to Molly's with some of the Student Living Staff and other folks, and was asked about the things I'm looking for in the girl I eventually want to marry. Now, I don't mean to be stereotypical, but I've noticed girls will have about 15-20 things (I think Lindsay had 20 or so) that they need in a guy, and guys will basically say "human and female".

    That being said, I really tried to come up with a decent list, and at the time, could only come up with two things:

  • Rooted in Christ: She has to love Jesus and want to pursue him more than me.
  • Intellectually Challenging: She's gotta be a girl who thinks, who learns, and who likes to do that as part of living. As Kate said, she's probably going to have to know what "NPR" stands for.

    Now I've given it a little more thought, I think I've got a couple more:

  • Cares enough about looks to think she's pretty (because I'll certainly think so)
  • Independence: I'd like someone who capable of having life beyond me as well as with me. I don't like the idea of marriage being "two halfs of a whole", but rather, I like thinking of it as two wholes being something more than they would have ever been alone.
  • Laughs at my jokes, and can probably make me laugh because she'll probably have a gift of recognizing the irony I create in my own life.

    As I'm getting older, I realize the girl I described is out there – and there's probably any amount of them… but it's a matter of the right timing.

    I feel there's 3 things that make a relationship work:

  • Personality: The two probably need to have personalities that are similar enough to agree on foundations, and different enough to be interesting
  • Chemistry: There needs to be that "X-Factor" that just makes you think "hot dang. I like this girl/guy"
  • Timing: Right situations for everyone, same stages, yadda yadda.

    These three have been evidenced in every one of my relationships, and I think I could eventually put every breakup into one of the three categories. I used to think you could control Personality and Timing (chemistry just is… it's synergy), but I've realized I can't control any of them. What I can control though, is not worrying about the things I can't control and just enjoy what's happening. I have faith if there's a girl who can fit five things, between now and when I die, I'll find her.

It could be YOU!

    Hahaha. Well, it might be, but we might have never talked.

    Or you're married.

    Or you're a guy.

    Or you're a student.

    Or you're repulsed by what I have to say.

    But maybe you are. If so, I'm glad you're reading my blog… it'll make it soooo much easier to get to know each other when you've read all my brain dumping.

    I ran today and played softball. Mercy ruled in both games. I'm going to get some dinner now. Good night.



  1. … Interesting. One of my best friends in college wrote an essay on his definition of love, and while I was fascinated by it at the time (for all the wrong reasons), the principle foundation of his essay focused on mutual respect – respect for profession, hobbies, decisions, etc. There’s a lot of that in what you wrote, although put differently …


  2. First, Student Living will be glad that you aren’t considering students or married folk as potential life mates.

    Second, thanks so much for the chat today. It was excellent.

    Third, I enjoy all of your posts. This one especially.

    That’s all for now.


  3. You are awesome, just so you know, and it continues to amaze me that your ms. right hasn’t claimed you yet, heheh like you said, she’s out there. Your zest for life and sense of humor rock. And your blog is awesome and thought provoking. Thanks for putting your awesome thoughts out there.


  4. NOW I know what the NPR means. And yes, I HAVE been reading your blog – in chronological order. You freaked out yet?


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