…I saw this because someone had searched for it, and it came up. Anyway, I really like this entry. I was suprised I wrote it.
A couple things got into my head today and I figured I’d share if for only my own benefit.
When I first came to Grove City, one of the first things I looked at were the two rocks in front of Harbison chapel. Of particular significance was the one towards MAP. On it were the Men Of The Year. Awarded by the honorary, it shows the best and brightest men ever to walk on the campus of Grove City. And I said to myself then that I’d work to get to that level and perhaps be lucky enough to have my name on the rock. And here I am in my Senior year and I thought about the rock today with a certain twinge of sadness. I look at what I’ve done over the last three years and see that I could match up to the graduates last year – A member of OB, and RA and an RD, community activities, active for awhile in the Prison Ministry, Delta Rho Sigma Chaplain, and an actor in the Grove City College one acts. I mean, I’ve done it… except honoraries. My grades sit at a 3.24 – .6 below what they need to be to be thought of for ODK, the main honorary. No Operation Top Management, no nothin’. And it bothers me because the main reason I wanted to be on that rock was legacy – I wanted to feel like all I’ve been doing to try to make Grove City better would be worth it, and people would look at that rock and say “Adam Anderson, he must of done something”
Nothing scares me more than anonymity. To be one of many. To be another face in the crowd and not making a difference. It’s one of the driving factors in my life – to be and do something with this world and to encourage others to do the same. And I felt like it all culminates on a plaque on a stone in a place where everyone on the entire campus walks by.
For a moment I sat here depressed. And then I thought about it and realized how silly that all is. How arrogant of me to think that a rock makes a difference. How silly to think I can’t make a difference. I’ve always wanted to see my work in people come through, and I look at the guys on my hall last year. I look at Paul Peal and Elizabeth Dunn and see what God’s doing in them and how incredible each of them are, and think that maybe God used me in their lives. And the more I thought, the more I realized that God doesn’t want a flashy servant. Jesus speaks about the fact that when someone’s serving and giving, don’t let the left hand know what the right is doing. In the end that’s the point. To be the best servant I can be for God and for others, I can’t be aiming for the accolades, but for the joy that serving entails.
Because in the end, I’d rather have one of my guys feel I made a difference in their life than receive a thousand Man of the Year awards.