Long and self-reflective Year In Review entry:

What a difference a year makes. This time last year I was in Hidden Valley with Lindsay, Dave, Tiffany, and other members of a group to celebrate New Years, and in the process nearly destroyed my relationship with my family. Now, I’m closer to my family than I’ve ever been, I’m no longer with Lindsay, and Dave and I have tatters of a friendship through difficult situations. When I think about back then, I feel all varieties of sad – nostalgic, angered, sullen, disappointed, and a few others in the middle. But, there are a few things I’ve learned, and looking where I am at the end of 2004, I’m amazed at where God took me. Here are some of the major things:

1. The #1 I have realized, as morbid as it may sound, is that death is a real thing, it could happen at any time, and every day I recieve is a gift. As such, each time I waste time doing something less than what is expected of me is simply ruining that gift. It’s certainly not that I want to die, but quite to the contrary – I want to live more richly and make each second worth it. I always run this line about wanting to make every day better than the last, but now I think I get it. It’s remembering that 12/31/03 at 10:35 won’t come around again, and that I can’t let myself be bogged down by anger, trite scuffles – just forgetting to love other people. Just look at the tragedy in Asia. I don’t want to be mad at my friend because he did something stupid and then have something like that happen. Time is short, and won’t come back, and for me, I guess I want to try to do what I can to live a peace with others. That being said…

2. Standing my ground in my faith, in my life, and in my friendships is the path that leads to integrity – something I desire more in my life. So often, I let things slide. I didn’t stand up for things I believed for fear of conflict. I’ve come to realize that if it’s something I really believe in and think is Biblically bounded, the conflict is only part of the growth and discipline. I might not like it when it’s happening, but I’m so much better off in the end (think Hebrews 12).

3. Little things are the chief driver in any friendship. I agree with so many of the big things with people. God, general direction in life, what type of jeans to wear… that kind of stuff. But the little things are what seperates your close friends from your niche friends and your acquaintences. The people you trust with everything are the ones that agree with you on your heart’s level. And I know it’s good to have different friends with different ideas for the sake of being well rounded, but how do you trust someone about the richest parts of you if they don’t agree with them? You just end up collapsing under the pressure.

Great things have happened this year. CCO, Senior Year, Revitilzation Committee, SL&L and Dr. Thompson’s mentorship, the Buffaloes and hanging with those guys, Kaylan, a new friendship with Lindsay, and strengthening of friendships with Josh Bush, Adam Benjamin, and Jeff Hodge, Natalie. And all of these things are getting better. I’m excited for what the new year can bring and where I’m going.

peaceandlove, happy new year.


Christmas entry

Merry Christmas. 🙂

Life is good. I had such a nice time being with family and enjoying their company. There is something so nice about just spending time with the people you love and really care about. And I agree completely with what Clint said: if people acted all year ’round the way they did during the holidays, life would be so much better. It’s like everyone feels obligated to love people – but just for Christmas. If we loved everyday, it would feel this way all the time… or something like that.

I got a lot of stuff for being a grown-up – cookbooks and pots and pans, along with some fix-it books and some sweet clothes. Also, something unusual is that I got a lot more money than usual. Typically I may get $60 or so, but this year I’ll top out at nearly $200. I think it’s because people just didn’t know what to buy anyone, so it was just easier to pack a few bucks in the envelope. Not to say it’s a bad thing at all.

So now I’ll spend from now until I go back reading for Civ Lit, talking to various people, and thinking about life in general. I think about next semester, and I’m just so excited about the possiblities – all this new and wonderful things are just falling in front of me, and some of the old things of life are culminating into this last semester at Grove City. I want it to be the best one yet. And I think more importantly, I want to help others be excited about this semester, too. I want to be happy – I want to be someone people enjoy being around and doing things with. I think too much of our lives we spend just being upset and downtrodden – thinking too much about things we don’t know about or can’t control, when there is so much joy and love in the little things – the stupid conversations we have about nothing in the hall. The staying up way too late to watch LOTR. Going out to look at Christmas lights with someone. There’s something special in everything, and we all have to stop worrying so much about the big picture, and love what God gives us.

My New Year’s Resolution: To micromanage happiness.


Finals week youngins’

So yeah. This week begins finals week. And I care so little about it. Anymore, it’s just tests that I need to take. Which has radically reduced my stress this season of finals. I’m actually kind of enjoying them. It means sure, more studying, but when I’m not doing that, I’m sleeping, playing games with the guys, and, of course, writing in my journal.

Today was Macroeconomics. Not that bad.
Monday – Marketing Research. If I do my part, and my professor doesn’t pull any punches, I’ll roll through that one and do well.
Tuesday – Out with Natalie. That’s exciting and one of the things I’m looking forward to the most, but not a final. 🙂
Wednesday – Modern Civ. Easy fo’ sheezy.

Hypothetically I could get a 3.8, but chances are it’s going to be a 3.4 – 3.5… and I’d really like to get on the Dean’s List again. It’d validate me, I suppose.

But for now, I’m going to listen to NERD and take a nap. Then I’ve got duuuuuutayyyyy and stuuuuuuuuuday.


A tribute to Lindsay Smith

Because she’s leaving shortly, and has been one of the few people that I’ve known since freshman year first semester that I still talk to, I wanted to say thanks to Lindsay Vance Smith.

She introduced me to my Sophomore roommate.
She introduced me to my girlfriend for most of college.
She was my friend and compatriot through my English major phase.
She’s been enough Grove City to fit in but real world enough to rebel.
She’s smart.
She’s funny.
She can write better than about anyone I know.

So, because of that, I shall put one of my favorite short stories of hers that she has posted on her journal. I look forward to when she’s famous, I ask her to sign the book she wrote, her remembering me, and catching up again on life.

Being Mrs. Price left a lot of room for movement: when Mr. Price left for work in the morning, Mrs. Price could sit in her bedroom slippers for two hours and eat Museli in bed. She could refuse to put her bowl in the dishwasher; she could shower or not shower. While she did have her first class at ten o’clock and did have to walk the Pom, she could wear black pants or pink and take Fussy out the back door or the front. Her day consisted of choice and decision, all of which she faced… and then made.

She had been Mrs. Price for four years which was beginning to approach five, enough time to build and decorate a house (a tasteful blend of her style and Mr. Price’s), adopt a dog, and stop caring about who did the laundry or whether it even got done. If the house grew too untidy—why, they simply called Rosa. She loved Mr. Price, and she loved signing her name Mary Anne Price in neat round letters.

It surprised her, therefore, when one day Amanda—junior instructor at Easy Mind Yoga and Pilates—asked her, “Why did you decide to drop your maiden name?”

Mary Anne had chosen tea this morning and played with her tea bag, puzzled. “I never really thought about it, I guess. I didn’t see any reason not to take Randy’s name.” She watched Amanda’s engagement ring sparkle while she stirred sugar substitute into her coffee. “Why? Are you going to keep yours?”

Amanda shrugged, two thin shoulders under a terry cloth hoody. “Probably. I mean, I always thought it’d be so degrading, you know? To give up your identity like that. But I guess if it never bothered you.”

Did it bother her? Mrs. Price creased her brow and wandered her mind that day. She was proud of the classes she instructed and proud of her thin, languid frame, taut from so many years of discipline. She’d never considered that giving up a name meant giving up that; but, no, that couldn’t be right. Her hair had remained red, her figure reedy, her personality intact. Besides, she liked her new name. Didn’t she?

She would ask Mr. Price.

He came home that night in his blue suit and green tie, with his hair brushed and shiny. He looked royal, she thought, and loved him on sight until the shadow crossed her mind: “I have his name. Did my identity leave when that happened?”

“Hi babe,” he said with his head in the fridge; he had seen her standing in the door of the kitchen. “What’s to eat around here—I’m starving.”

She wrapped her arms around his back in welcome. “Randy… why did I take your name?”

“Because you got married to me, goof.” He shrugged to the cabinets, still searching. “Guess it was just the thing to do. Why?”

“Did I give up my identity?”

“God, no… I mean, why would you think that?” He came toward her and touched her face, as he did often. “You’re just the way I like you… is that what you want me to say?”

He was lovely, Mr. Price, so Mary Anne smiled and nodded.

“Well there we go. Will you take the dog out while I change?”

She got the leash and the dog and found the shadow of the day had lifted. From upstairs, her husband called to her: “Do me a favor and take him out back—I’m trying to work on the grass in the front!”

So Mrs. Price took the dog out back.


I’ve become interested in some of the things John Wesley said… and this in particular I thought was great.

John Wesley:
How to Read the Scripture

If you desire to read the scripture in such a manner as may most effectually answer this end, would it not be advisable,

1. To set apart a little time, if you can, every morning and evening for that purpose?

2. At each time if you have leisure, to read a chapter out of the Old, and one out of the New Testament: if you cannot do this, to take a single chapter, or a part of one?

3. To read this with a single eye, to know the whole will of God, and a fixt resolution to do it? In order to know his will, you should,

4. Have a constant eye to the analogy of faith; the connexion and harmony there is between those grand, fundamental doctrines, Original Sin, Justification by Faith, the New Birth, Inward and Outward Holiness.

5. Serious and earnest prayer should be constantly used, before we consult the oracles of God, seeing “scripture can only be understood thro’ the same Spirit whereby it was given.” Our reading should likewise be closed with prayer, that what we read may be written on our hearts.

6. It might also be of use, if while we read, we were frequently to pause, and examine ourselves by what we read, both with regard to our hearts, and lives. This would furnish us with matter of praise, where we found God had enabled us to conform to his blessed will, and matter of humiliation and prayer, where we were conscious of having fallen short.

And whatever light you then receive, should be used to the uttermost, and that immediately. Let there be no delay. Whatever you resolve, begin to execute the first moment you can. So shall you find this word to be indeed the power of God unto present and eternal salvation.