BEHOLD A NEW ICON!

Tell me what you all think 😀

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waiting…

I’m waiting on a phone call from the HR rep at HB Maynard, an industrial engineering/retail consulting firm that I interviewed with before November. They said the’d let me know between late December and early January one way or the other. Well, unless my definition of early January is skewed, I think the 16th would designate mid-January, so I felt if I called and said “Hi. I’m really enthused about the opportunity to work at your company, so I’d like to know if there’s anything I can do to see what is going on” and see where I can go.

I called when they opened, and apparently the lady I need to talk to is in a meeting and won’t get out until, well, right about now. I’ll let you all know what the details are when I find out.

Today’s my last day of work, and I’m going to try to do as little as possible. 😛

peace and love

//edit 9:47: Still waiting on the call. I think I might try to call again at 10.

//edit 10:44: They decided not to offer me the internship. It makes sense because I’m not a Industrial Engineer, but a Marketing major, so although I have extensive experience in what they do, it wouldn’t be fair for any of the people that want to make that their living someday to lose the spot because of me. So this isn’t where I’m called to be. I’ll move on and find other things, and perhaps just come back to American Standard. They’ve given me so much, and to look at my resume and realize they’ve given me job after job since June 2001, how can you knock that?

An interesting post

I had a chance to take a look at a friends post, and it was about her faith, and it made me think of mine. In keeping in line with what my reviewer pointed out, I’m going to cut here so that if anyone would like to skip the next entry, they can. peace and love.

My friend commened, basically, on the fact that she felt conflicted because she feels like she’s telling people not to do these things, and then in return she does them:

Maybe it takes someone I think I care about that much to make me actually THINK. And when I write the whole feeling is fading, and I like it and dont at the same time. See, I really dont seem to care so much about following the one BEING I believe is Almighty. I thought about it. If it came down to it, I’d go do everything the commandments say not to do, in the worst sense, if it were not for my morals that every human has. Yet by logic and faith I still believe myself to be in rebellion and believe God to be God and Christ to be the Saviour. I dont know what this all means. At all. It could mean something really bad about me. I really dont know. Maybe I have something really the wrong with me, according to the way I think and what I believe. I mean, let’s see. According to what I believe, I believe I most likely am committing all sins and continuing and not trying to stop. Like, I worship gods, and they could be anything, and not just idols and such. I misuse his name, loud and clear, and dont try to change. I never ever remember the Sabbath day, never care to so much. I don’t honor my parents much. I respect them. But it’s about morals. I love them, deep down. Normal human feelings… I suppose I am just very convinced that I am a sinner but am not doing so much about it. Maybe it’s just a stage of random guilty feelings. The whole holy spirit thing tugging at me? I think I am showing a very very bad example of what someone of my beliefs should be like…

As I read more and more about it, I think she gets this feeling that what she’s going through is bad, and that she shouldn’t be feeling this way at all. I guess from my experiences, I think feeling that way is one of the biggest blessings someone can have. To be able to see yourself in a complete 360 degree way, be aware of what you do sometimes, and understand is great. Paul talks about this when he says that there are multiple times that he knows what he should do, but then in return doesn’t do it. He has to deal with the fact that even though I’d say he was the powerhouse of God’s first generation of Christians, he was still a sinner, and he killed the same people he later tired to save after his conversion. Many of the people in the OT and NT aren’t exactly the greatest people. Noah: drunk; David: Murderer and Adulterer; Samson: Womanizer; Paul: Murderer (as Saul, but still… same guy); Rahab, a prostitute, was in the lineage of David and of Jesus. People aren’t perfect. I think Paul sums it up again in 2 Corinithians 12 real well:

7To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

You know what, we are going to be sinners, we won’t be perfect. But we don’t have to be. God’s perfect grace makes us better.

hmmm

Ever get that feeling of just general restlessness? Just feeling like there’s something you’re unsure about, but can’t exactly put your finger on it? That’s kinda the way I feel now.

Lindsay and I talked about a lot of stuff last night, and I felt it was a really worthwhile time, except we both stayed up until 11:30 or so, and we both had to get up in the 5’o clock hour. Was it worth losing the sleep over? I think yes, because there were issues unresolved that I think we finally did resolve. I just hate making her upset or sad or anything – and for that matter, making anyone sad or upset. It’s that whole do unto others thing I think. I wouldn’t want anyone to take delight in upsetting me.

For those of you who don’t know, and without going into detail, Lindsay and I haven’t exactly had the most perfect of pasts. I feel like we’ve hurt each other a lot, but for some reason there’s always been something that’s kept us together regardless: love, dedication, tenacity, stubbornness (I think it’s the first one, but the others can play into it).

Anyway, after last night and getting some issues taken care of, I realized that for some reason I still hurt because of things in the past; silly times right at the beginning when things weren’t very good. Truth be told, we probably shouldn’t have dated at the time, but we did and there’s not a whole lot we can do about it now.

So I told her somethings that will continue to stay private (I’m open, but not so open there’s no privacy 😉 ), and I’m waiting for her response. I can’t help but feel really exposed though. I let out all the things that are hurting me and left them to hang without knowing for sure what’s going to happen. The odd part is I have no reason at all to assume that she won’t understand what I mean and where I’m coming from. She’s always been so loving and caring and willing to talk things out if I’m upset, and I feel in a way I’m betraying her for even allowing the possibilty she would be uncouth. But I feel like as a person I can be exposed until I try to internalize something, and once I do, it’s tough to dig things back up and set them right. But I feel in the case of Lindsay, it’s making it so I can’t be the type of boyfriend I want to be to her and the one she deserves. And I want to take all the wonderful things about us and the things that makes her so special and beautiful to me and run with it without setting a shield to her. It reminds me of a Fiona Apple song (regenderized, of course):

“All my armour falling down
At a pile at my feet
And my winter’s giving way to warmth
As I’m singing her to sleep”

That’s what I think we’re both trying so hard to do is to lay our armour down and move on. And I think this is what the Lord would want, so I want to pursue it. I just need to talk to her, and I need to see her again soon (Saturday!!!!!! :-D).

Regardless the case, I’ve fallen for her hard, and I love her.

Today it’s getting a haircut, and going out with the grandparents before going back to school. And hopefully talking to Linds about things and her interview.

Peace, love, kaboodles,
a.

Toddy Coffee and other meaningfuls

Morning!

This is part of an email that’s all about my new toy, the Toddy Cold Brew Coffee Maker

I had my first cup of Toddy coffee this morning. Wow. It definitely lived up to its hype.

Typically, when I have a cup of regular coffee, a series of events occur in my mouth. After it’s cooled down to the point of tasting it, the first thing I feel is a bitter/acidic taste on the tip of my tongue, followed by the taste of the coffee itself on the back on my tongue before I swallow it. Obviously, there’s an overwhelming bitterness, and whatever flavor you’d attain from the coffee is just about lost. Not to mention the fact if you drink enough of the coffee, you’re going to get heartburn becuase of the acid (I’ve had this problem before, especially at school: I get 2 cups of GCC coffee in me and I’m sick for the rest of the day)

No more with this Toddy coffee. All you get is the taste of the coffee without all the heavy oil and acid tastes. It’s the smoothest cup of black regular I’ve ever had. It’s like drinking a full flavored coffee water (which doesn’t sound so appealing, but it is! It’s the taste without the pain). I’m really impressed by it, and I think it will be an amusing conversation piece in my room. I recommend everyone who enjoys coffee or tea to get one, as it will do both. On Toddy’s site it cost $36.00 with free shipping and a sample of its latte, its green tea and its chai (all of which I found enjoyable. The green tea is a little too sweet for my liking – I enjoy just plain green tea and they add honey and all of that), but on ebay by itself I found one for $22.00

Today is Wednesday, which marks humpday, which marks the beginning of the end of work. It’s been fun here this time because there’s a comfort, impressions have been made, people know who I am, and I believe they consider me capable of doing my work. I’m left alone to my devices and to do my work. How can any self-respecting college student turn down a $10/hr job typing stuff into a computer all day? I’ve been blessed with jobs since I’ve starting working. I’ve never made less than $8/hr, and except where I did all that lousy sweeping and painting (at $11.50/hr plus overtime though), I’ve really enjoyed what I’ve done. I’m hoping for the rest of the week to run smoothly, and get out of here. Then it’s on to school for a new semester.

Anyway… talk to all later.

Good Morning! Review of review

I got my LiveJournal reviewed over the last couple days, and I really appreciate the candor put into reviewing my journal.

Thank you, and I hope with some of the advice I can really improve my journal

These were some of my personal favorite comments:

“…there is a good level of intelligence apparent in his entries” – I’m glad to know that I haven’t been trivial or stupid. I’ve never wanted to be at all.

“I found there to be a nice depth to many things awra2001 wrote, it is very much a coming of age journal, particularly in the first year. awra2001 does speak of his feelings, but sadly the shear lack of entries meant that the reader never gets a full picture, or a follow up to things mentioned.” – I thought this was a really nice comment, and I hadn’t thought of it really as coming of age until now, and it really is. It’s the shift from high school to college and beyond. Alas, she’s right in the fact that I don’t update a lot, and as a result you don’t get to see a whole lot of change (that was a big detractor from points for me… that and customization)

This was my personal favorite:
“Individuality:
I’ve never come across anyone quite so devoted to his faith as awra2001, so I’d say that was a unique point. The interesting thing with him is that if you look beyond all that, he’s still an interesting person which completely shatters my previous experience. The personality put across is very consistent, only wavering depending on the amount of religious content.”

One of my biggest goals from when I can remember is be able to balance faith and fun – to be able to love God, but also know how to go have a good time. At least in my journal, that happens.

“There is a constant style to awra2001’s journal. It’s not a style I can put my finger on, but one which is identifiable as his own. It would be a very nice journal to read if the sentence structure was tweaked a little bit.” – I liked this too, because I like having my own way and style. But at the same token, she’s very right – I do need to work on sentence structure… which starts the beginning of improvements:

*~*~*~*~*
Quantity
This is a desolate journal. In two & a half years, awra2001 has only made 130 entries. There are months in which he never wrote, & even when he did it was often barely ten entries a month. – there’s nothing I can say except I really should take a little more interest in my journal. I’ve taken time to keep it going for 2 and a half years, and yet I do little to keep it up. There’s something wrong with that I say! WRONG!

Bio
This was very bland, sparse & gave you no indication of who he was at all. It was just a few lines of text, very uninteresting & it didn’t promote the journal well. – That seems to be something that I could easily take care of if I’d just take the time to do it.

“awra2001 never cuts quizzes, IM conversations or the like. This isn’t to say he never cuts anything, I just feel he doesn’t make use of this feature enough.” – Also easy to fix.

Also, I really need to stop using ellipses as much, and I think I really should start typing “tonight”.

The biggest problem for my reviewer, and my biggest drawback is my lack of creativity beyond the alloted things they give me. And while I can’t disagree (I am going to work with to create a better looking journal), I just don’t put as much on an emphasis on the look of my journal. I feel like the words and the user should speak through the journal, not its design.

She mentioned some things about my tendency to talk about God in my journal, and that’s cool. I know I talk about God a lot in my journal, and I’m sure at times I may have forced it out of me for the good of the journal (which is unfortunate, alas), but obviously, it’s something I can’t compromise on, and I think she understood and respected that. However, she brought up a great point when she mentioned that it might turn away unbelievers. That should be something I work on.

In the final analysis, I think if I really wanted to do well in a review, I need to take the time someday to really make it look how I want it to look. Make it “Adam Anderson’s Journal” not “Adam Anderson’s Journal, brought to you by the kind, hard-working people at LiveJournal”. More over, I just need to take time to write in it. I think to myself “self, the reason you created this journal was because you wanted to have a place to keep your thoughts and look back in five or six years and smile”… and I don’t seem to be doing so well at it a quarter of the way through. It’s okay. I’ll just keep doing my thing, and see where it leads. Once again, thanks so much for the review.