wow.

I have wasted the entire day and I’m proud of it.

The big shots were here today and because they don’t know about we Salem interns, we had to lay low and stay in our office.

Well, as far as that goes, we really can’t do a whole lot, so we’ve sat in the office doing a whole lot of nothing. Freakin-A sweet.

I was invited to Ian’s wedding, bringing to total to 3 this summer, and 4 total since I’ve come to college. Then I find out Jaclyn’s engaged (congratulations for that, though to echo Charlie it’s weird to see HS friends getting engaged. Oh sure, we saw Elizabeth become engaged, but it’s not as different as this. Maybe it’s because we expected that, and no discredit to Jaclyn, I don’t think I expected her to be the first.)

Jaclyn and I had the deal that if we were unmarried by 30, we’d get married just because. Thus far I’m keeping up my end of the bargain.

This one I’ll be able to go to as well because it’s after work is done. I’m sad I didn’t get to go to Nate’s, and if Nate or Sheila read this – I promise that when I come to Grove City next I will take you both out to lunch or dinner. It’s the least I can do.

I talked to Dave for an hour last night and Becca for a few minutes. Both good to talk to.

Also, I started running again last night which felt really good. In the rain no less!

That’s it for now. Peace and love.

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Justin Mc Roberts

Lead from Weakness
Monday, March 26, 2001

Lead from weakness. Always know that you are not qualified to represent God. You never will be. There is nothing in you or about you which glorifies God. You are completely incapable of lifting up the name of Jesus in your life because you are fully self-consumed. You are eternally distant from the holiness of God and are not fit to have His Spirit living in you…. Perhaps the time you are in right now is a time in which God is teaching you this truth: You are a sinner. Because it is not until we realize that truth that the following truth makes sense: He has saved you.

Lead from weakness. Let your failure be the core of your leadership. Let those you lead know you are hurt or failing, because when they see that they will know that their failure is all right in the light of Grace. I pray that Jesus would lift from you the pressure to perform. May He free you with an understanding of your own sin, and lift you in the joy of the knowledge of His salvation.

Lead from weakness. What do we want to lead people to? A relationship with Jesus. What is the basis of our relationship with Jesus? His Grace. Doesn’t it make sense then, that one of the most important things to teach is failure. For, it is only in failure that we recognize our need for His Grace and find therein a relationship with Jesus.

Do not let the Devil convince you that your failure disqualifies you from the race. You were disqualified when you were born. Jesus runs this race and shares His victory with us out of love, not merit. Lead from weakness.

Grrr on Sinus Infections

Good morning all. I really really really want this sinus infection to be done. I’m getting tired of it because it stops me from doing just about any athletic activity I want to. It’s such a heavy, searing pain that when I go out and run and all the mucus jostles in my head and I end up hurting more there than in my legs or my lungs.

I will admit that I have, finally, after 21 years, really began to enjoy running. I take my headphones and CD player and get out on the road. And when I stopped last week I was doing pretty well for 20 minutes. I’d run at the pace they tell you (I could talk to someone if they were there) and go until about I get back home, head out to the blacktop for Agility and Speed drills, stretch, and go in and shower. All of it takes about 35 minutes – or 8 songs, depends on what you’re keeping track with. Hopefully today after one last day’s worth of Dayquil I’ll be able to run. I have a dentist appointment at 4, and then I’ll be home.

Have I mentioned how nice it is to make money these days? I really enjoy it. And I think it’s that I enjoy working. A week would not seem right if I didn’t put in the time. That’s one of the reasons I hope to get a job next semester either on campus or at the outlets. Getting even a minimal paycheck will be beneficial (my goal is to make about $50 a week, because that’s about what I spent this year in my “Adam-now-has-a-car-and-wants-to-experience-the-freedom-to-do-whatever-the-f-he-wants-and-have-a-girlfriend” mode) and will allow me to save some away for the eventual first month/last month rent fee. Which right now is one half daunting and one half exciting. Then again, if I take the Grove City College Head Resident / Geneva MA in Higher Education route, I’ll be making $13,000 a year and pay for my Master’s in a snap. That however, is contingent on the Lord and the job market.

Today at American Standard, I shall be beginning an experiment that should yield a partial answer to the question “What are the pipe temperature, insertion depth, and glue amounts necessary to create an optimal bond to avoid leakage?”

peace and love.

mmmmmm poem time

It Is Marvellous …

It is marvellous to wake up together
At the same minute; marvellous to hear
The rain begin suddenly all over the roof,
To feel the air clear
As if electricity had passed through it
From a black mesh of wires in the sky.
All over the roof the rain hisses,
And below, the light falling of kisses.

And electrical storm is coming or moving away;
It is the prickling air that wakes us up.
If lightning struck the house now, it would run
From the four blue china balls on top
Down the roof and down the rods all around us,
And we imagine dreamily
How the whole house caught in a bird-cage of lightning
Would be quite delightful rather than frightening;

And from the same simplified point of view
Of night and lying flat on one’s back
All things might change equally easily,
Since always to warn us there must be these black
Electrical wires dangling. Without surprise
The world might change to something quite different,
As the air changes or the lightning comes without our blinking,
Change as our kisses are changing without our thinking.

The weekend

Good morning all. This weekend was rather enjoyable, and would be just enjoyable period had it not been for a sinus infection and the ensuing Dayquil-induced haze I’ve been living in for the last four days or so.

First off, it was Ryan’s Graduation party on Saturday. I was out of commission to do much help, but I was so impressed at how hard my parents work to put it on for everyone. It’s weird too being on the other end of it (as has been the case so many times since graduating myself). To me it felt like another catering job made special only by the fact that it was my brother’s celebration. The only damper to the party was when Linda Ford, a good friend of the family and who always has been there to help at parties we have, had to go to the hospital because she suffered a heart attack. Apparently it had been going on since 12:30 and she only left for the hospital at 5:00 or so. Everyone did a great job of keeping it on the qt because I didn’t know (nor did anyone else at the party) until my grandfather made the announcement and called us to prayer some time later.

So far from what I’ve heard she’s in the ICU and will be headed to the pulmonary ICU sometime this week. Please be in prayer for her.

On a lighter note, I’ll have pictures from the festivities sometime this week.

On Sunday we celebrated Father’s Day which isn’t really our MO; we typically wait until the Fourth of July and make it a dual holiday (we’re an efficient family like that). However, with the extra barbecue meatballs; sausage, peppers and onions; ham salad; beef salad; and chicken salad, it seemed like a good idea to make the celebration Sunday if only to eat. My dad and grandfather both got really nice utility knifes, which you can never have enough of. It’s at that point when I can’t help but start to think about the fact that I’ll be a father someday, and I’ll be getting utility knifes from my kids and wife because I’m sure I’ll still never have a surplus of utility knifes when I’m 30 or whatever. Overall, it was an uneventful day and wonderfully relaxing.

I’ve broken it off with Lindsay. For good. For those of you that know me the best will snicker at that remark, but believe me when I say I know it’s done. And from my end I’m feeling one part grief over the loss of a off-and-on nearly 2 and a half year relationship, but a sense of relief that it’s done. Now that it’s becoming a more known thing, friends are coming out of the woodwork letting me know that they think this is one of the better decisions I’ve made for awhile. They’re telling me all of the sudden that they thought Lindsay was controlling and that “It’ll be nice to have the old Adam back”. Want to know how many fights I’ve had since coming home and breaking off this relationship? None. Furthermore, my parents and grandparents (my ridiculously wise grandmother who always knows the right thing to say and has, like my mother, never been wrong about things like this) didn’t like her either. Said she couldn’t believe how she could tell everyone in front of her at her house that she received better grades than me and how she was smarter and she was better and all the yadda yadda yadda that I had become immune to. I had been feeling that way for some time, but I kept thinking to myself “I can try just a little harder, work this last thing out, do one more thing and we’ll get through this”, when I realized that in the interim all I’m doing is compromising the very thing I’d been wanting to save. The ideas I had about what I wanted my perfect relationship to be were slowly being lost because I was so willing to cut her breaks on what she was doing. And don’t get me wrong, I’m certainly not saying that she’s some crazy woman, but I just expected that when I was dating the right girl, she’d be by her nature reacting to certain situations in a way I found pleasing. For example, if someone treated girlfriend X in an inappropriate manner, she could dust it off of her shoulders and move on, not make it a criminal affair. Which, sorry to say, didn’t happen with girlfriend L.

As I’ve said before, she’ll make a wonderful wife and mother. That I have no doubt. Where I do doubt it is if it will be with me.

So then the question is, obviously, what to do from here? First, I can’t let myself get trapped into the same relationship again because I know what the future will hold and I’d rather not repeat history. Beyond that, I’d say I’m just going to have to do what I’ve never done very well and be patient. God has provided for me exactly what I needed (not always wanted) when I needed it. And yet I can be so ignorant as to assume he won’t do it again. All I need to do is just be myself, which I’m pleased to report is finally starting to feel right again.

peace, love, happy first day of summer.

Another Straka Post

Sorry… but with work the way it is, I thought this was great reading:

My Mean Boss … Grrr!
Tuesday, May 04, 2004
By Mike Straka

As if being an overweight child isn’t bad enough, a new study in this month’s Pediatrics magazine shows that overweight children are subject to more bullying on the playground than normal-weight kids are.

Hello? We needed an expensive study to figure that out? I could have told you that. Next time make the check out to Mike Straka, S-T-R-A-K-A.

All fat kids should be required to take martial-arts lessons. Not only will it get them in better shape, but when some bully decides to pick on them, they can kick his butt all over the playground too.

I’m talking boys and girls. There’s no rule anywhere that says catty girls shouldn’t get their butts kicked by the girl they’re picking on.

And NO, I don’t condone kids fighting anywhere that there isn’t a mat and a referee, but there comes a time when kids should be toughened up rather than coddled.

Wake up parents. Stop being complacent with your children. It’s OK to demonstrate a little disappointment and offer encouragement, but don’t be competitive with your children. You had your chance.

Nothing Grrrs me more than when I see some dad or mom espousing on how much better he or she did it at the children’s ages. Stop living in the past and let your children live in their present.

If your kid is getting bullied because he’s fat, short, skinny or tall, help him find something constructive in it.

It kind of reminds me of my first mean boss. He was a news director at CBS News Radio on West 57th Street, where I worked the overnight shift (1 a.m.-9 a.m.) as a desk assistant.

Whenever he walked into the newsroom, a chilly breeze would follow him into his office. Nobody was exempt from his wrath. From desk assistants to famous anchors, all persons were equally susceptible to a humiliating tongue-lashing.

But you know what? If I’m good in a newsroom, I have that man to thank.

If you didn’t like being belittled, then you needed to know your job. You needed to know what was going on. You needed to react to breaking news like it was second nature. You needed to keep everybody abreast on developments with clarity. In short, he toughened me up.

I remember one instance chasing a breaking news story. I was making calls to a hospital where a story was developing, and since several media outlets were also calling the hospital, the person answering the phone told me they were not taking any more calls from media outlets and asked that we stop calling.

In a note I put out to the newsroom I wrote, “The hospital told me to take a hike.”

My boss came bursting out of his office.

“Mike, Mike,” he always repeated my name whenever he was about to yell. “What did they say?” he asked. I told him the hospital spokesperson said they weren’t talking to the media anymore.

“Then that’s what you write. I don’t want any of your stylistic bull—-,” he screamed. I said that I understood, but I really thought he was just being a big jerk.

When I finally got it, some time after that incident, I completely understood. He wasn’t yelling for the sake of yelling.

I sent that note out to the entire newsroom. Some anchor could have taken my note for what it said, and it could very well have made it on the air that “so and so hospital told us to take a hike,” and it would have been wrong.

The point is, sometimes a little bullying goes a long way to help one’s maturity, and there’s always a lesson in it, even if it hurts. Stop whining and start learning.