day 20, fo’ real

Attibute this to Mr. Andrew Heffner, but I’ve gotten back into the kick of finding quality, yet obscure artists.  For awhile I was back in the hip-hop mode (the new Lupe Fiasco, new Jay-Z, Mark Ronson… although he’s more obscure right now), and then I was suggested LCD Soundsytem, Ane Brun (you were right, Al, I did like her a lot), and then decided to download Of Montreal’s new album “Hissing Fauna, Are You The Destroyer?” and fell upon this song, “Gronlandic Edit”.

Get this song and listen whilst you read the lyrics.  Read with and without a Christian Worldview.  I really like the beauty/pleasure motif.   The last lines are a siginificant answer to the questions the rest of the song poses.

This was a great little find this morning.
peace.

Gronlandic Edit
(The surrealists were just)
Nihilists with good imaginations

I am satisfied hiding in our friend’s apartment
Only leaving once a day to buy some groceries
Daylight, I’m so absent minded
Nighttime meeting new anxieties
So am I erasing myself?
Hope I’m not erasing myself

Guess it would be nice to give my heart to a god
But which one which one do I choose?
All the churches fill with losers, psycho or confused
I just want to hold the divine in mine
And forget all of the beauty’s wasted

Let’s fall back to earth and do something pleasant
We fell back to earth like gravity’s bitches
(Physics makes us all its bitches)

Guess it would be nice to help in your escape
From patterns your parents designed
All the party people dancing for the indie star
But he’s the worst faker by far
But in the set, I forget all of the beauty’s wasted

Guess it could be nice
Show me that things can be nice

You’ve got my back in the city
You’ve got my back, ’cause I don’t want to panic

day 19… sort of.

Alright. So this is hard. And I don’t want to put crap up here, so it’s even harder. But three of the more important women in my life have all at some point this week say “hey, you really need to get back on your blogging kick”

You all win. I’ll get back into the swing of things. I have some things I want to talk about.

But, for tonight, I’ll leave you a picture. I got a new camera this Saturday, and have been going crazy with it. I took this picture tonight.

peace.

 

day 14 – backtracking things i think

I found this on post secret.  Enjoy.

day 13

…and it seems appropriate to have something a little more, oh… triskadecaphilic (if that’s a word.  If not, it is now!)

The band Radiohead has been one I progressive enjoy more and more and really appreciate, as much for their ability to balance electronics with acoustics (they might very well be the band who does it the best).

Anyway, I probably was first introduced to them with OK Computer, one of their mid-career (thus far) albums, released in 1999.  Half way through, there’s this song called “Fitter Happier”.  Done over a haunting piano melody, Thom Yorke typed these words below into a Mac and the result is the overly-computerized voice akin to Stephen Hawking (which, I read, people actually mistook this voice for his).

I love this song because it’s a portrayal of the human condition, constantly striving to make due on themselves.  This empty feeling (which is so wonderfully captured in the song), is evident.  Which, the way a look at it, without my faith I would be rather machinistic.

Why is it triskadecaphilic?  Well, it’s a creepy song if you’ve heard it.

Fitter, happier, more productive,
comfortable,
not drinking too much,
regular exercise at the gym
(3 days a week),
getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries,
at ease,
eating well
(no more microwave dinners and saturated fats),
a patient better driver,
a safer car
(baby smiling in back seat),
sleeping well
(no bad dreams),
no paranoia,
careful to all animals
(never washing spiders down the plughole),
keep in contact with old friends
(enjoy a drink now and then),
will frequently check credit at (moral) bank (hole in the wall),
favors for favors,
fond but not in love,
charity standing orders,
on Sundays ring road supermarket
(no killing moths or putting boiling water on the ants),
car wash
(also on Sundays),
no longer afraid of the dark or midday shadows
nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate,
nothing so childish – at a better pace,
slower and more calculated,
no chance of escape,
now self-employed,
concerned (but powerless),
an empowered and informed member of society
(pragmatism not idealism),
will not cry in public,
less chance of illness,
tires that grip in the wet
(shot of baby strapped in back seat),
a good memory,
still cries at a good film,
still kisses with saliva,
no longer empty and frantic like a cat tied to a stick,
that’s driven into frozen winter s—
(the ability to laugh at weakness),
calm,
fitter,
healthier and more productive
a pig in a cage on antibiotics.

day 12

Here’s something from my devotions this morning. This could be filed under “the inner groanings of Adam Anderson that someone else caputred fantasticly”

Every morning at 6:45 I go to the small convent of the Carmelite Sisters for an hour of prayer and meditation. I say “every morning,” but there are exceptions. Fatigue, busyness, and preoccupations often serve as arguments for not going. Yet without this one hour a day for God, my life loses its coherency and I start experiencing my days as a series of random incidents and accidents.

My hour in the Carmelite chapel is more imporant that I can fully know myself. It is not an hour of deep prayer, nor a time in whihc I experience a special closeness to God; it is not a period of serious attentiveness to the divine mysteries. I wish it were! On the contrary, it is full of distractions, inner restlessness, sleepiness, confusion, and boredom. It seldom, if ever, pleases my senses. But the simple fact of being for one hour in the presence of the Lord and of showing him all that I feel, think, sense, and experience, without trying to hide anything, must please him.

– Henri J.M. Nouwen

I so often feel the lack of coherency when I don’t pray every day. And if Henri Nouwen feels the same way, well, then, I guess I don’t have to feel so wierd about it.

peace.

day 11

I’m not feeling so well.  Just dragging.  It’s the same thing going around with everyone.

Anyway… so what will I do?  Well, I’ll tell you.  I’m going to find something to eat, and then I’ll take some Nyquil and sleep.

peace.

day 10

So entry 500 was the last entry.  And it’s really wonderfully symbolic of the type of person I aspire to be.  My #500 blog entry was of little pomp and circumstance, just a simple entry where I had a good, insightful conversation with someone else.

I want to serve.  I want to love.  I want to do that with little attention drawn to myself.

The irony is I’m telling the average 35 people who read this daily that, but let’s keep it between us.

Or, even better, the second I start believing I’m something I’m not, feel free to comment here or via cell phone, email, or my face.

May the peace of Christ be with you today and always.

day 9

“Tricia Dituro” (11:56:07 PM): I have a criticism for your daily blogging

awra2001 (11:56:32 PM): yes?

awra2001 (11:56:34 PM): Well

awra2001 (11:56:36 PM): Wait

awra2001 (11:56:41 PM): Because I think I’ll know what it is

awra2001 (11:56:49 PM): And that it’s diluted and surface

awra2001 (11:56:50 PM): and I agree.

“Tricia Dituro” (11:57:39 PM): oh great… I was going to say it like this:  I’d like to see something more substantive, more of the daily inner thoughts and workings of Adam Anderson

awra2001 (11:58:08 PM): hahahah

awra2001 (11:58:22 PM): Well, thank you for the more tactful criticism

awra2001 (11:58:52 PM): So I find one of two options

awra2001 (11:59:02 PM): either, I have to be, indeed, more substantive

awra2001 (11:59:10 PM): Or stop blogging daily

“Tricia Dituro” (11:59:35 PM): you could jot things down all throughout the day

“Tricia Dituro” (11:59:57 PM): in a notebook, at a meeting or anywhere

“Tricia Dituro” (12:00:06 AM): and then it will be easier to reflect every day

awra2001 (12:00:32 AM): that’s a good idea

awra2001 (12:00:35 AM): because yeah

awra2001 (12:00:53 AM): I would define my blog right now as “paltry”

awra2001 (12:00:59 AM): and that’s just not how I roll

 

peace.

day 8b – this is a “whoa!” tag

So I like to flip thorough the searches that get to my blog… it’s funny to see how google works.  Anyway, this was one from today:

“+”adam anderson” +kidney”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.   What makes me laugh so hard (and that string of ‘HA”s was legitimately done by yours truly) was someone would search for me and my lack of two kidneys.  Oh my word.

peace.

day 8

It thundersnowed today. That’s all you need, really. It snowed snowballs on Upper Peach and thundersnowed.

peace.

day 7

This was a day full of wonderfulness:

• I cantored at Gathering In Praise today
• I hung out with KFenn and caught up
• I talked at Ichthi. To be able to speak at a Catholic fellowship group is a blessing few people in my shoes get to have.
• I ran over 2 miles today
• I lifted
• I talked to Erika

So basically, this was a fantastic day.

peace.

day 6

The thing that stood out today was being with my residents. I had some ice cube trays that were filled with an applesauce that went wrong and became a syrupy mess. Thinking “oh, I’ll think of something to do with it”, I just froze it.

I took them out, put them into my new blender with some yogurt and some milk. It became Apple Pie frozen yogurt. This was wildly beyond my as well as Kody, Doug, Kaylee, Val, and Amanda’s expectations. I probably filled half the blender and we ate it all. I felt no guilt for that much deliciousness.

peace.

day 5

Great day.

But the thing that stuck out was kind of a disappointing thing.  For lunch I really wanted to get a hamburger, so I went to Steak ‘n Shake.  As I was entering, there was an older couple leaving.  Usually, I would open up the door for them, but they took a couple steps back.  I assumed they wanted me to walk through.  I did.  As they left, I thought I heard the old man say “oh, thanks for holding open the door for us… thanks for taking care of us” and so on.  And I felt bad, because 90% percent of the time I would hold the door and care.  I thought this time I was being cared for in return.

peace.

day 4

Steve was sick today.  This isn’t happy.  I don’t like it when people are sick.

What was happy is after we had an improptu campus ministry meeting, we ended up going to Pio’s, a fantastic Italian restaraunt on the East side.  So it was Nick, me, Maria, RC and Statia just laughing and talking and catching up.  I know it’s much more difficult in other professions, but to be able to live and laugh and work with the same people makes things better, in my opinion.  Sure, I can get more tired of who I work with, but we become more of a family, and less of coworkers.   And in the business of working with college students in the University, there has to be more trust.  The time spend creates that.   And it’s beautiful.

peace.

day 3

After seeing Jeff and Alex, I went to church with Erika and Sharon. Again, could stand on its own, but here’s 2 things:

Random, funny thing: At lunch, I was paying, and the woman checking me out (who had the most wild black and white framed glasses – picture something that guy with the question suit saying we can GET MONEY FROM THE GOVERNMENT WITH HIS BOOK! would wear), who said “honey, so you want to put this much on your card… oh, and I’ll put these leftovers in a bag, but that’ll be a $20.00 charge”. I laughed a bit because she said it in such a sweet way. I said “well, y’know, you just about slid that past me.”

Random, happy thing: Erika and I spent a couple hours at Barnes and Noble just reading. I had my class stuff and she had stuff for her study group at Parkside. It felt wonderfully normal and beautiful. I’ve smiled a lot.
peace.

day 2

I was with Erika all day.  I mean, that could hold its own as the good thing for the day.  The best part might have been spending the evening at dinner with her family.  I felt so peaceful and happy.  Lots of conversation and lots of laughing.  There’s something very wonderful about Hispanic culture.

peace.

my month long project

I’ve decided to embark on a month-long project of blogging everyday.  So, from now until February 12th, I plan on putting something in here.  My hope, as well, is to write down events that stand out in my day, preferably happy.  Kelly Fennessy and I have embarked on this project together.  And some of you other bloggers out there (read: Tricia) can join as well.  I got in the habit of the “one thing that made me happy” writing in May when life wasn’t so good, and I think when life is especially good, we oughta write these things down too.  If I’m out of town (like tomorrow and Sunday), I’ll write something down and post it later.

Anyway, here’s one from a couple days ago to get started.  K-Fenn and I did our usual “get-together-to-talk-about-life” things, and were at Eat’N’Park.  Behind us in the next booth was an old couple (as, y’know, typically happens at an ENP at 11:30 in the morning).  The woman had a bonnet on that alluded to chemotherapy.  They ordered the soup and salad bar immediately to our left (which, while being pushed as the healthy option, our placemats still had the bucket-o’-grease known as the appetizer sampler).  She got up, and before heading to get more walked over to the other side of the booth, put her arm around her husband, and kissed him on the head.  It was done so elegantly that I stopped talking and just watched.  It was beautiful, and just made me think about how rare that seems anymore – first, couples being married that long, and then still being sweet and loving, and then being so in public.  I get the same feeling when I see my grandparents hold hands.

Oh, and do I look like this guy?  Colin Meloy from The Decemberists.  I’d prefer this celebrity lookalike over Glen Humplick from the Tom Green show.

peace.

the newness and relationship talk

Hey everyone –

Thanks, first, for all of your nice comments of late regarding my blog or specific entries.  Have I ever told any of you how much I love my blog?  My friends, it could be the easiest way to get a voice out there.  I never thought so many people would read it, though, and I’m on my way to ecplising 500 entries and 10,000 hits since I started at wordpress.

Hypothetically, if this was average, almost 50,000 hits have registered on my blogs.  That’s wild.  For perpective, that’s like the entire city of  Mentor, Ohio, has read my blog over the last 5 years.

I’m so happy to be back, you have no idea.  I was, to be honest, a little worried about it, as I think everyone is when they have to face the “oh man break is over and now I have to go back to real life” syndrome.  But there’s students, there’s staff, there’s my home.  And I like that.  I’ll admit I even like the snow and the cold weather.

Something that’s been really interesting lately, though, has been the conversations that have been occuring since I’ve been back.  First off, my New Year’s Resolution is to keep track of my friends better.  I tend to lose track progressively of High School and GCC friends, and they’re really only a phone call away.  So I’m going to try to take a couple hours each week and just catch up.  I’ll start by just going through my cell phone phone list.  So, if I have your cell phone number, expect a call.

Anyway, a lot of conversation has been on the topic of relationships and dating.  And I don’t know if part of that is because I recently found someone I really like (and let me tell you, I get nervous putting things like that on my blog… as much as I’m personal, I still try to be rather impersonal… and we did go out on a date, so this isn’t just a random crush) and now I’m more apt to hear these things, or whether it’s people hearts, or it’s just a combination of all of the above.  What’s been nice though is they haven’t been these longing “Oh, woe is me” kind of talks, but constructive conversation.

Too often in this twenty-something time, we get caught up in relationships as if it’s identity issue.  All the recent books that come out about Christian dating either promote or demote relationships, saying we should “celebrate our singleness”.

Tell that to any person who’s been single for awhile, they’ll glare at you.  And we as Christians should be concerned about supporting sweeping policies regarding faith practicies if the people it affects most feel something wrong about it on a deep level.  And, honestly, I think by saying to celebrate singleness, it’s discounting all the other times we can celebrate in our lives – our first relationship, serious dating, engagment, marriage, kids.

We should stop placing the priority on celebrating a phase of life, and rather celebrate God and his consistency throughout all of it.  If we don’t try to that, we find ourselves dangerously close to placing our identity in shifting sands and not in the rock of Creation.  If I spend all my time celebrate singleness, what happens when I find someone?  Am I too afriad?  If I’m celebrating God, I’m thanking Him for every day, one step at a time.  Regardless of relationship, of bank account, of want or need.

Personally, I’m not going to kiss dating goodbye, I’m not going to celebrate my singleness, and I’m not going to cloister myself up in some sort of self-righteous determination.  I’m going to live the life my God apportions to me one step at a time.  I’m going to live the life David writes of in Psalms 57:

Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me,
for in you my soul takes refuge;
in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge,
till the storms of destruction pass by.
I cry out to God Most High,
to God who fulfills his purpose for me.
He will send from heaven and save me;
he will put to shame him who tramples on me.
Selah

God will send out his steadfast love and his faithfulness!

My soul is in the midst of lions;
I lie down amid fiery beasts–
the children of man, whose teeth are spears and arrows,
whose tongues are sharp swords.

Be exalted, O God, above the heavens!
Let your glory be over all the earth!

They set a net for my steps;
my soul was bowed down.
They dug a pit in my way,
but they have fallen into it themselves.
Selah

My heart is steadfast, O God,
my heart is steadfast!
I will sing and make melody!
Awake, my glory!
Awake, O harp and lyre!
I will awake the dawn!
I will give thanks to you, O Lord, among the peoples;
I will sing praises to you among the nations.
For your steadfast love is great to the heavens,
your faithfulness to the clouds.

Be exalted, O God, above the heavens!
Let your glory be over all the earth!

peace to all today.

not in erie or in youngstown

But in Olgebay, West Virgina, taking a class for my Master’s degree.  It’s wonderful here for those of you who have never been – I highly recommend it as a place to unwind away from the hustle and bustle.

I found an old journal from my senior year of high school, and I hope to transcribe those onto this blog in order to have even older entries.  Woo.

I look forward to talking about more things later on.

Much peace, happy new year,
a.